August 15, 2010

What I Learned by Cheating

Posted in Fantasy and Science Fiction, Spiritual Life tagged , , , at 3:32 pm by Mo Dardinger

This week I cheated on a commitment that I’d made. Not intentionally, but on accident. Here’s what I learned while cheating:

  • it’s okay to take care of yourself and put your own healing first
  • it’s not okay to live in clutter
  • beauty and organization are high values, ingrained in most of us
  • we can de-clutter and re-organize
  • some folks are much more loused up than the honey-lamb and I are — but without knowing God, would we be there???
  • sometimes ya gotta break the rules
  • it can be okay to distract yourself from pain for a while
  • when you go on a quest for someone, you’re expected to return and report to that someone
  • when you serve well, you are praised and rewarded
  • God still wants me to go on quests for Him, and these will be the best, most important quests

I was alone at home on Thursday evening — bored, lonely, discouraged, looking for some fun. So I flipped on the TV.

Dr. Phil was on with a messed-up woman whose craving for positive attention from men had led her into one adulterous affair after another. She’d had some bad experiences growing up, and a lack of a father in the home. (Which is roughly equivalent to what I experienced — having a father present but “not there.” A lot of us have that problem, and most of us don’t resort to affairs. That attempted solution seems understandable on one level and yet totally unthinkable on another.) At the end, Phil offered to pay for counselling for her to get the psychiatric help it was clear she needed. Her emotional healing needed to happen first. Later, she, her husband, and her latest shack-up honey could decide what was the best way forward for each of them and all of them.

From this I learned it’s okay to take care of yourself and put your own (emotional or physical) healing first. You don’t have to always put the job first, or the friends first. You can be first.

After Phil ended and before my husband arrived home, Dr. Oz started in. He was dealing with a woman who was burying her own home in clutter. It was really sad to see. Dave and I had a clutter problem a few years ago, before his brother Bob and our sister-in-law Dianna came along to get us de-cluttered. Then, when Bob brought out most of Dave’s stamp collection and when we closed down our mini-storage unit, we ended up with clutter in our lovely townhouse again. We need to re-de-clutter. Because, as I learned from watching Oz, it’s not okay to live in clutter. We aren’t doing as poorly with our things as the gal on the TV show was, but we’re beyond my “comfort level” for clutter.

As I reflect on this, I’ve realized that beauty and organization are high values, ingrained in most of us. We need to expend time and energy to press order into our homes and work spaces. We need to invest in beauty and cleanliness. It matters.

I also realized that we can de-clutter and re-organize. I was unable to help out much while I nursed my knees back to health for a month. But now that I’m over that and over my ear infection and cold, I can jump in. (The honey-lamb has been preparing boxes and stacks of clothes for me to sort through. We’re half-way organized already.)

It was entertaining, thought-provoking, and even a bit of a relief to watch the loused-up lives of the adulteress and the hoarder exposed for all to see. One assumes that they were compensated for their appearances, and that they are glad they endured the ordeal both for the money and for the better lives that will follow these appearances. The “relief” part comes from realizing that I’m not doing so badly after all. My loneliness, lack of parenting, and craving for approval hasn’t driven me to adultery. My acquisitiveness, while bad by some standards, hasn’t totally buried our couches in useless junk.

So I learned that some folks are much more loused up than the honey-lamb and I are. Upon reflection, though, we both have had abundant blessings and great opportunities lavished on us. The primary blessing is knowing the Lord God, maker of heaven and earth. We grew up exposed to the Bible, and we are surrounded by genuine Christians. Without knowing God, would we be where these sadly lacking women on TV were?

Friday, the friends I met for lunch discussed a massively multiplayer game that they enjoy playing online, World of Warcraft (WoW). I’d never tried it. But when I was feeling blue that evening, I decided to give it a whirl. There’s a 10-day free trial, and that will encompass two weekends. So I downloaded it, read a little on the basics, and got underway. I invited my husband to join me. That’s when he reminded me of the “ban” on watching TV and playing Internet games. Our community life pastor had preached the previous Sunday, and he’d asked us all to back away from these and other distractions for a month. So that we can spend the time on our relationship with God and on building relationships with our family and our neighbors. I’d totally forgotten. I was cheating! On Sunday morning, I’d thought, “No problem. We already don’t watch TV or play games online.” The honey-lamb really got into the spirit of the thing. He gave up playing FreeCell on his computer and also stopped working cross sums puzzles, which he loves.

Now, I’m generally in favor of obeying any rule around. The Lord indicates that the authorities in our lives deserve our attention and obedience. This time I ignored the rule. Since it’s okay to take care of yourself and put your own healing first, that’s what I did. I figured the distraction of learning this new game (and the consequent lift to my spirits) made it okay to ignored Pastor Mark’s request. Sometimes ya gotta break the rules.

As a long-term solution, I wouldn’t recommend playing a game by yourself rather than interacting with others. But as a one-shot temporary measure it was okay. I learned that it can be okay to distract yourself from pain for a while.

World of Warcraft is a fantasy role-playing game. You set up a character, then take him or her through quests to gain experience. You acquire more armor and weapons. You learn new skills or “skill up.” When you have enough skills and experience, you rise to a higher level or “level up.” The challenges get tougher and the rewards get larger at each level. You have to make sure you’re ready for combat before you Engage! At the end of a successful quest, you and your comrades return to the one who sent you out. He receives what you have collected for him, or the report that you have vanquished his enemies. Then he rewards you.

One thing I learned while playing is that it would take a lot of time to learn to play well. Another is that it would be more fun to play it with your friends or family members, like the guys I had lunch with do. Whether I’ll play it again during the “ban” month is up in the air. Today I feel a lot less blue, and there are tons of real-life connections I need to make with friends, so it’s doubtful.

After completing the quest in WoW, I realized: when you go on a quest for someone, you’re expected to return and report to that someone. Then they evaluate your mission and give you what you deserve. When you serve well, you are praised and rewarded.

Later, something else became clear. I’ve been on several “quests” for my heavenly Father over the years. Such as writing my book, creating my Website, and teaching two classes on the End Times with my dear honey-lamb. I’m called to study the biblical prophecies and share what I learn with others. That “calling” still applies. God still wants me to go on quests for Him, and these will be the best, most important quests — not the quests that other people send me on. I have every confidence that He will thoroughly de-brief me. If I overcome, if my quest is successful, then He will reward me handsomely.

So it is for the honey-lamb, too, and for any other boon companions who join in my “quests.” First, let’s trade some of this useless clutter for a prayer mat. Then let’s skill up, level up, and Engage!

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